Pause on trail

Well...I'm blogging a bit this morning, instead of being on the way to Bräulingen at the start line of Schwarzwald Marathon (ufficially, a DNR: Did Not Register. Usually, I prefer to decide to run a non-A race even the day that takes place, instead of joining too anticipated registration-lists). This should be the last race of the year, let's say better...just a long training run on my way to Winter training season. Yeah, should be...and it wasn't. Infact, I decided to take a pause. And here I tell you why.

Basically, all began a pair of weeks ago, during a short trail session on the hills around my home. I was feeling a bit nervous and not on the line in those days, my head was completely full of stuff (work, family, etc...) and I was already feeling that something between me and my body didn't work perfectly. But I decided that day to give a sh@t about that, and go run, as always. So I took my new pair of Brooks Pure Grit I and got out for a brief test-run. 

That wasn't a good decision. Just running a short steep downhill, I felt something to my left calf, and in a pair of minutes, just couldn't run well. I though It was only a cramp or something like that, but it was definitely something else, maybe a contracture. In the weekend I rode a bit with MTB, and on Monday and Tuesday tried again to run. 

And here's my second mistake: wanna to test a little tempo run (why the f@ck I did that!), again, feeling not completely connected to my body and mind, not feeling clearly the flood between them. Well, on Wednesday morning (ten days ago) simply couldn't normally walk. 

A bit frustrated in the following days, but then again, something happen: as already happened with my DNF in Ulm, I felt a little Eureka-lamp that turned on in my brain, suggesting a sort of strategy to try to find the best also from a "bad" moment (I know, bad moments are others, this is just bullsh@t). For the first time since I started to run in 2010, I decided to take a completely off-run period. No running shoes, no gels or stuff like that, no sweat (yeah, a bit...but only on the bike), definitely no workouts.

 A real running pause.

And I decided to take and enjoy that, essentially because I knew that I got to find again the connection between me and my run, and most of all a real balance between my run and my life in general. Not to find from zero to..., simply to find "again". Also I began to think about this closing season (I'll certainly write something about that at the end of the year) and to what could expect me in the upcoming running year. But essentially, I searched back my way to my present, rejoining it totally and being into it. I'm not sayin' that it's a freakin' easy process, at all. Gotta have patience, for sure and simply gotta "re-live" our life, taking all the best from it and appreciating every single moment of it, emotions and people around of it. 

I started again to spend just a bit more of quality time with my family, sharing talks and thoughs, and to get back in some of my hobbys, like cake-cooking (and eating, of course), easy mountain biking (my road bike is still not repaired after my sommer-rendez vous with asphalt (will talk about that, maybe) and books...ton of books..:) A pair of times I simply went out for a walk through the forest, just hearing to the Nature and her Autumn stuff. And it was awesome.

That's what I call well spent time

And I began to understand, that a pause was probably the best and the only thing I really need, and my body and my mind were saying me that. Hey, let's be clear, it wasn't a "I've met Jesus" moment or something like that, it was just a primarly need that I knew I had already, but that I couldn't really explain to myself. I was just letting stress and daily tension taking the control and no...that simply couldn't happen. 

And here I am, still enjoying my pause and recovering from my little calf-injury (it's getting better, for sure) and most of all, looking forward to my comeback in running and training (well, I think I'm goin' to wait still a week and then I'll try to get back on track). I know it will be a long course, but I'm definitely ok with that. A long training season is expecting me, on the way to SDW50 and not only, and I want to go through it in a connection to my head, muscles and heart (I know heart is tecnically a muscle, too, but...come on, it's really something more...). 

Finding it and going back in the flood of it (on the trail of it) will be my most important season goal.

My playground is waiting for me

P.s: this post is dedicated to my family, my crew #terzoristoro and my running and cycling friends, that continue to inspire me and give me strenght and drive to reach my goals, every single day.

And, must say, is also inspired by an' amazing blog post written by my friend @Sally Mcrae a few months ago.Check her blog out, too. 

Yes...I know...gotta buy a new English vocabulary...